What is a Secure Attachment?

Securely attached relationships are often more satisfying, trusting, and long-lasting relationships. A secure relationship is a relationship that is honest, open, equal, and partners are independent, yet dependent and intimate with each other. This style of attachment usually results from a history of warm and responsive interactions from a supportive & secure partner.

Secure partners tend to be comfortable with themselves and their relationships. They are comfortable sharing their feelings with their partner and are able to turn to their partner for support in times of need. They generally have a high self-esteem, enjoying intimate relationships, seek social support, and can easily share their feelings with others.

Securely attached couples do not have an idealistic bond or in other words a false sense of safety and security. In an idealistic bond, a couple does not have real love, but are emotionally cut-off relationship and way of relating to each other. It is often superficially, sexual, and not a deep emotional connection.


The following describes securely attached people in terms of proximity and how they think, feel, and behave.


Securely attached people feel comfortable with intimacy and independence.

Most secure individuals seek to balance intimacy and independence in their relationship.

Intimacy and closeness are an essential part of a secure relationship. Securely attached people enjoy spending time together.


Can independently explore the world and allow their partners to as well. They do not need to control where there partner explores, because they have mutual trust.

They do not question their partner’s faithfulness and trust that their partners are loyal to them.

They are comfortable depending on others and having others depend on them.


Secure individuals don’t worry about being alone or having others not accept him/her.

Securely attached people tend to have positive views of themselves and their partners.

Secure individuals tend to have positive views of their relationships.

Feel secure and connected to their partner and they believe they are loved as much as they love.


Secure individuals feel comfortable sharing their feelings with their partner.

Securely attached people are able to turn to their partner for support, and also, offer support to their partner when he or she is distressed.

It is easy for secure individuals to become emotionally close to others. They are open with others and generally believe people are safe.

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